"Baseball"

I played baseball all my life from
5-years-old until I graduated high school.

NOW, I help coach t-ball and and
8 and under coaches pitch.

Baseball's boring. Really, it is.
You could spend a lot of time
in game as a kid, without ever
having a ball hit to you. That's
a fact.

I wish some major league team
would allow dandelions to grow
in their outfield. I bet there would
be a lot of millionaires pulling
dandelions... and popping off the
heads of their teammates.

For kids, I don't know how they
do it. Dirt. Grass. Flowers. Mud.
Whatever it is, it's got to be
more exciting than watching the first
baseman get his 1,990th chance to
field a grounder.

And let's face it, baseball has "situations."
"What's the situation?" Every baseball
coach has said it.

"If there's a man on first, and on third,
and there is 1 out, and the ball is hit
to the third baseman, where's the play?"

OR, "One out, man on second, the
sister of the catcher is cute and wearing
shorts, the mother of the batter is
smiling, the concession stand is selling
hot dogs on sale for $1, and the ball
is hit to the right fielder, where's the
play?"

HO-HUM.

No wonder kids so small rather dig
in the dirt than play baseball.
IT'S BORING!

And I blame the Pirates.

Maybe if you live in Boston or
New York or St. Louis, you want
to play baseball because you have
seen winning baseball.

Do you realize that if you are a
sophomore in high school or younger
in the Western Pennsylvania, you've
never seen the Pittsburgh Pirates
have a winning season?

Yeah, give me dandelions.